Dear Mr. Jamie James,
You're getting to be an old man, my friend! Sometimes I feel as though this time has flown by and others, it feels as though time is just standing still. I feel as though it was just yesterday that we welcomed little 5 pound 15 ounces you into our family and at the same time, it feels as though you've always been here.
Today, my feelings are a mixed bag. I am tremendously happy to celebrate another (half) landmark in your life. Every single day I am thankful that you are here. There are so many times that one of your seizures could've taken you from us in the night. Just stolen away. No goodbye. No answer. No reason. I cherish every second I have you in my life. These hard times have allowed me to see how much good there is in our world. Good, that until we struggled, was overlooked and over shadowed by normalcy.
On the flip-side of this joyous half landmark, is the realization that another 6 months have passed. We are inching closer and closer to your third birthday. A day that, once again, I look forward to celebrating but am honestly dreading at the same time. When you turn three, all of your Early Intervention programs end. You'll have to start over at a new school with all new therapists. I'll have to trust others with you that I don't know that well. Not only do I have to trust that they will teach you your basic academics but that they'll teach you your much delayed life skills. They'll need to teach you to speak, to feed yourself, to sit, to walk, to be a pre school boy. And, in turn I have to trust that they will not harm you.
If you can't speak, you can't tell me if they hurt you.
If you can't sit, I have to trust that they won't leave you lying on the floor.
If you can't walk, I have to trust they will not let you fall or remain in harm's way.
I have to trust a lot and I am not ready to yet.
These next 6 months we have a lot to work on. Dada and I are going to move the dining room out into the garage and in it's place we're building you your own personal baby gym. We are planning out a strict schedule for you to work on all areas that require improvement. I'm going to recruit the help of your physical, occupational, and speech therapists. You are going to hate me but, someday, you will thank me. Your physiatrist in Boston, Dr. Brennan, informed us at your last visit that children who are sitting by age 3 typically walk whereas children who are not will remain in a wheelchair for life. I refuse to sit back and watch my boy be resigned to a wheelchair for his life. You are only at the beginning of your life and you are not going to remain seated throughout this show. You are going to feel what it is like to walk, to swim, and to run.
I am your mother and this is my promise:
I will do absolutely everything in my power to make sure you grow into the man that you are supposed to be.
So, for the next 6 months, you will report to baby boot camp every single day. Whether it is a weekday, weekend, or holiday is of no importance. I am going to work you so hard you will hate me. But, so help me God, I will walk you to the bus stop on your first day of kindergarten and I will watch you step up onto that bus by yourself.
We're going to make this happen kid. I see great things for you.
All my love,
Mama
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